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There is a difference in the attitude to bringing up children in the UK and in Hungary. In our country mothers usually stay at home with a new baby for a few years, or if they do go back to work, then comes the grandmother. There are hardly any nannies, and not many cleaning ladies either. The bringing up of children and the household duties are still considered the role of the mother, even if she has a good job. Sometimes the father helps in too, and the grandparents often get an important part in the lives of their grandchildren.

In the UK the situation is not the same. Mothers don't stay at home with their babies for long and even if they do, they often get a home–help. Cleaning ladies are quite common even in households without young children. They go over once or twice a week, sometimes every day to clean and tidy the house. A well–off family when a baby is born gets first a maternity nurse than later a nanny. Nannies are usually British or Australians and they can even be employed on a live–in or a daily basis. Families that don't have enough money to employ a professional nannie often get an au–pair. Au–pairs are people between the age of 17 and 27 from other countries. They do light household duties and help in looking after the children in exchange for the opportunity to improve their English in a native environment. As they don't have a work permit, they are not allowed to get wages, but they are provided with food and lodging and also some pocket money.

There are families who treat the au–pair almost like a servant saying "The au–pair is just the modern alternative for a maid". There is some truth in this. The au–pair is the cheapest labor in the UK. A family doesn't have to be rich to be able to afford one, but sometimes even wealthy families chose not to pay for a professional nanny.

According to the law an au–pair should be treated as a part of the family, and most families except this. They try to make them feel welcome and loved. It is not always this simple though. If a family decides to get an au–pair, most of the time means in fact several au–pairs. The usual stay of an au–pair in the UK can be 2 years at most, but often it is just a few month. This means that by the time the children grow up, they have had numerous au–pairs. No wonder sometimes they can't even remember their names.

A lot of bad things are said about how an au–pair's life is in the UK. Some of them are true, it's not easy for anybody to fit into another family's life. But once the au–pair accepts that it's not easy for the host family either to have someone living in their house, usually things can be worked out. Some families get an au–pair just because of the work that needs to be done, others are open to other cultures and enjoy getting to know someone from another country.

There are several reasons why the au–pair system is so wildly spread in the UK, and in some other West–European countries, but not in Hungary. Before the First World War upper or even middle class families could employ a nanny or a maid. When our country was communist travelling wasn't much appreciated, and the life standards dropped too. There have been political changes in the last years, but most families still wouldn't have enough money to afford a nanny. Even an extra person living with the family would mean way too much extra cost. Also, probably most people would reject the idea of a 'stranger' living in their homes and bringing up their children. For some reason most British families handle this really well.

Most British families go to an agency to find an au–pair for them to help in looking after their children and their homes. They invite someone in their homes, who they hardly even know and often they trust them with sole charge of their children. This is quite a big step, especially considering, that we tend to say, that the British are reserved and they like to live isolated on their islands.

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Since I have been learning English I have found myself becoming more and more interested in not only the language itself but in British culture as well. After spending two weeks' time in England I became even devoted to the British. Though my holiday was not enough to experience everything, but most of the differences between usual Hungarian habits and funny or sometimes strange British behaviour were recognized immediately.

Many books were written to tourists and students dealing with these oddities, but experiencing them is not so boring at all than reading about them everywhere. The most pleasant thing is to be confronted with the opposite side . The first commonplace is that the British are conservative and reserved people. The very first look of the streets shows something else : colourful people in crazy and funny clothes according to the latest fashion, free individual attitudes and helpful, smiling faces when asking information from them.

My second impression was not so positive : I found them mad after seeing some "snapshots" from the bus-window like a daddy having his baby overturned from the doll's perambulator by chance, etc. By the way, English children are much more naughty than Hungarian ones.

The other striking point in my observation was that there are so many coloured people in London. Not this is surprising, but the fact that Britain really seems to function as a multicultural and multiracial society. There were no such precedents for incidents against immigrants like in Hungary , Germany and in other European countries. I think it is connected with the reserved behaviour of the people. I am not stating that they really like and accept foreigners and immigrants at all. It is inconsistent with the strict customs rules for instance. So in the background of their smiling faces I could find only politeness and nothing else. They could never accept anyone who is an alien and no-one or only a few people can get closer to an Englishman. What I liked was their tolerance. This fact manifested itself in chats that I had with them : they were very sensitive to others' accents, and were interested in many things, but made no serious or concrete responses on questions covering existential or personal points despite these were not obtrusive at all.

The funniest thing about the British was that wherever they found a little spot covered with grass they sat down and had a picnic there, not bothering them if it was in the centre of a traffic junction. That is one thing I cannot imagine in Hungary, and not just because we have not got so many and so beautiful parks and grassy places .

And now we came to the topic of tradition. As I started with a commonplace at the beginnings , let me go on with another : charishing traditions in Britain. I think as far as we, Hungarians are known in the world, we are concerned as having old traditions and rich cultural life. But nowadays we have not got enough time for these things, and much of our traditions are fading away, while others seem to be forced for me . The opposite is existing in Britain. We must admit that the British Empire had always been much more richer, and had had more historic and cultural attractiveness than Hungary, in source of her world-ruling role. What is really enviable is the people’s trust of these ancient and old things and habits.

Before I become accused with devotion, let me mention a repulsive phenomenon of Britain, which is unfortunately another commonplace, and that is the British weather. Though many other things could compensate it listed above , I could hardly get used to it.