Introduction
In First-Year Proficiency Essays the hardest chore is to write effective introductions and conclusions. Both a good introductory paragraph and a well-constructed concluding paragraph contribute to the success of the essay. They exert influence on the readers' attitude towards the theme and on the impact the essay has on the audience. While introduction creates a first impression, conclusion is the last contact between the writer and the reader. Both paragraphs can strengthen or weaken the whole of the essay.
Method
My aim is to analyze how effective introductions and conclusions students write and to what degree they connect these two parts of the essay. I do this analysis with the help of ten essays chosen at random. These essays were written in 1996. First I will analyze the introductory paragraphs of the ten essays, then the concluding paragraphs and finally the connections between them. A theoretical part precedes the analyzis where I will examine what kind of criteria these paragraphs should meet.
Results and Discussion
The aim of introductory paragraphs is to arouse the interest of the audience and to attract its attention. This purpose can be achieved in different ways. It might be useful if the reader feels he is familiar with the topic. The easiest way to attain this object is to touch upon experiences which might have happened to the reader as well. If the writer is not sure that the topic will capture attention, the writer can choose special methods such as asking questions, referring to current problems, telling a short story which matches the aim and mood of the essay, adducing opinions which contradict the opinion the writer will develop in what follows (Wiener, 1984, pp. 262-263). The introductory paragraph must indicate the subject the paper will be about, and it has to reveal the writer's standpoint. It is crucial that this paragraph has to create the basic tone of the whole essay. The introduction prepares the thesis-statement. It brings the writer's and the reader's mood of thought into harmony. The thesis-statement is usually the last sentence of the introduction. In fact it serves as the conclusion of this paragraph (Rackham & Bertagnolli, 1988, p. 264). It indicates what the audience can expect regarding the content of the following parts of the paper . This is the point where the reader begins to look at the topic with the writer's eyes (personal communication, Horváth József, May, 1997).
One of the viewpoints of essay-analysis can be to what degree the ten students carried out these principles. Most of them endeavoured to arouse the interest of the audience and they generally succeeded. The most frequent types of introductions in the analyzed First-Year Proficiency Essays were:
- a short summary which led to the thesis-statement (40%),
- an overview of the topic in three or four sentences, which was completed
in the body of the essay by the writer's mentioning more details (30%),
- a list of those circumstances, facts which help the reader understand the attitudes or understand the topic (20%).
Good introductions had a beneficial effect on the essays, because they determined the line the writer followed. Therefore, they helped the students focus on the topic. Some of the introductions seized the reader's interest, indicated the subject, but they did not include a thesis-statement. Thus, the writer did not narrow the topic. The aim did not become clear. This might be the reason of the essay becoming a little bit rambling and less well-constructed. One of the papers ("Explain how to e-mail a friend") had an introduction which seemed to be written only to fulfil the formal requirements of essay writing and to increase the number of words. There were irrelevant, obvious statements in it, and regarding the length of the essay, the introduction was too long. By analyzing the tone of the introductory paragraphs it would be more difficult to form groups, because their style varied. Some of them only stated facts, some of them were ironic or humorous, and so on.
The other important part of the essay is the concluding paragraph. When writing a conclusion the writer has to fulfil several criteria. First, it must be in connection directly with the theme, and it should not introduce new ideas. There are two kinds of conclusions: summary and evaluation. But summaries may not be sufficient; which is why the two types often co-occur (Gere, 1988, pp. 261-262). A good concluding paragraph tries to make the reader understand what kind of thoughts the writer wanted to show the audience, and what kind of topic the writer developed in the body of the essay. It is crucial that the tone of the conclusion should adjust to the tone of the essay. The last sentence can raise the effect if it strengthens the writer's ideas, because this sentence has the last impact on the reader (Winterowd & Murray, 1983, p. 83).
By analyzing the logic, the role, the effect and the length of conclusions one can ascertain several facts. First, they resulted from the facts and arguments. Some students ended the essay by creating new aspects of the theme, and prompted the reader to think the topic over. Since the vast majority (80%) drafted some kinds of methods or advice, they wanted to emphasise them in the conclusion or they suggested several solutions. Reading these essays the audience can understand the aim of the writer. Some of the concluding paragraphs were especially original, full of bright ideas. 90% of the conclusions in the analyzed essays summarized rather than evaluated. The latter one can be noticed only in one essay, but the two types together do not occur in any of the essays. In two or three papers the students brought up intriguing issues, but the conclusions were boring. The reason might be that they only echoed the statements made earlier in the same words. Therefore, they did not increase but rather weakened the effect of the whole of the essays. Regarding the length of the writings almost all of them were appropriate. They adjusted to the length of the essays. Only one of the students made the mistake of ending the paper ("Explain how to e-mail a friend") by one concluding sentence. Moreover, even this sentence was not relevant. Fortunately, none of the students left the writing without conclusion and let the reader guess. The last sentences also merit attention from the point of view of how much they increase the effect made on the audience. Two of the last sentences were outstanding. One of them was an ending with a bang, in fact the repetition of the first sentence of the essay: "Poor Romeo and Juliet!" ("Explain how to fax a lover") The second one astonishes the reader by contradicting the previous statements. But when one thinks it over one will realize that it only appears to be a contradiction.
The kinds of connections between introductions and conclusions are also worth analyzing. "A good conclusion often echoes the beginning of an essay by reminding the reader of the focus. Such a technique seems especially satisfying to a reader. It creates a sense of wholeness and completeness. The introduction and conclusion work together like bookends to support and contain the body of the argument." (Rackham & Bertagnolli, 1988, p. 273) Thus, a good conclusion reinforces the thesis-statement of the introduction, and it draws the topic into a united whole. It is also important that the tone of these two parts of the essay should agree with each other.
I also analyzed to what degree the students implemented these principles. This was the first scope where it can be established that each of the ten students connected the two parts in some way. The most frequent method (60%) was that they summarized what they had disclosed in the introduction, and complemented it with several facts that followed from the content of the essay. Another group (40%) referred back to the thesis-statement, and reinforced its significance. The latter way seemed to be more effective. The method of answering the questions asked in the introduction might have been applied as well (Heffernan 1986, p. 45). Analysing the essays I experienced that none of the students took advantage of this possibility.
Conclusion
The majority (70%) of the students succeeded in carrying out the writing of introductions and conclusions in the analyzed First-Year Proficiency Essays. Concerning the methods, they solved this task in different ways. They were careful to connect the two important parts of the essay. All of these facts prove that 70% or 80% of them possessed theoretical knowledge, and they could put it into practice as well. From the foregoing it is clear that all of the analyzed essays except for one or two are better than the average.
I would like to express my thanks to Horváth József for revising my first draft and to Korsós Gizella for typing.
Showing posts with label introductions and conclusions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label introductions and conclusions. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
W 006 F
Introduction
Writing the introduction and the conclusion of an article is the hardest task for me. To catch the readers` attention from the first sentence and keep hold of it until the last requires knowledge just as an interesting topic. The language and contents have to stand up to the audience’s expectations, and transmit the author’s thoughts on the subject. The reader wants to be kept inquisitive, though this requirement challenges most, it can be tackled by all. In my paper, I will present the hardships and solutions of writing essays with two introductions and two conclusions. Based on the essays of my classmates, hoping to facilitate success in other cases.
Method
I had asked my classmates to lend me their essays for further study, namely `Two introductions and two conclusions`. These were handed in for Horváth József’s course, `Writing and Research Skills` we attended in the spring semester of 1998 in JPU, Pécs. Through the essays I am going to try, to give a clear picture on how to keep the reader’s attention, or what could be still improved for the cause. As for professional background I had chosen William Zinsser’s `The Lead` and `The Ending` chapters. In these chapters he aims to help writers find their abilities in holding readers` attention, by starting with a capturing introduction and a memorable conclusion. The technique of my analysis was to contract in these essays the themes used in the two introductions to capture the attention of the readers, and I had looked for a personal thought or a general question raised in both conclusions. I did not only look for the successes in reaching the ultimate target, but put the essays against each other to find the failures and successes in each step.
Results and Discussion
The first introduction, in all four essays at my disposal, pointed out clearly the topic. When discussing specifically sensitive subjects, as Vadon Balázs has done in his essay, he clearly pointed out one kind of opinion on the subject in the first introduction, and the opposite in the other, targeting people with different thoughts on the matter. In these introductions, accurate data: "A dohányzás káros az egészségre. 36/1196. (XII. 11.) FM - NM - IKIM együttes rendelete." (Vadon Balázs) But the subject touched, awakens questions pro and contra, in the readers: "Who gives a damn whether smoking damages my health." (Vadon Balázs)
Introductions do not have to raise accurate questions, political, economic or cultural. The highest goal of introductions is to awaken curiosity for the rest of the piece. Keeping the reader’s focus on the article, inspiring the individual thoughts about what has been written, is something I believe most writers hope for. "Therefore the lead must capture the reader immediately and force him to keep reading" (Zinsser 65). One way to reach this target, is by a short, perhaps witty sentence that makes everyone interested in what the writer has to say about the subject.
I found that out of the four essays` two introductions, all writers turned to different audiences in the two introductions. Tánczos Balázs, who wrote about alcohol, in his first introduction supported information, that would probably find capturing: "Drinking was indeed a ceremony during the feasts." (Tánczos Balázs) Finding the fitting subject, targeting a group of people who may be interested in reading more about the field, supporting data, keeping the attention without boring the readers`, adding personal opinion and raising adequate questions is quite a task. It requires knowledge, practice and often failures to learn from.
The core of an article is pulled along, as the introduction and the conclusion set the frame. Zinsser calls attention to the proper use of verbs, which are considered the main actors of the sentence. Active verbs should be used in articles preferably to the passive ones. He marks their difference as: "The difference between life and death for a writer" (110). Passive structures, especially with long sentences, may make the reader unsure of what he reads. Adverbs and adjectives are usually extras, often quite unnecessary, since the nouns already carry the concepts. There is a simple rule Zinsser suggests: "Make your adjectives do the work that needs to be done"(112). Adjectives are help the reader see the "blackness” or hear the fearful cries. The main difference lies in the frequency of their use. With this we arrived to the question of a writer’s creditability, for its sake exeduration should be clearly avoided. When articles concerning everyday and special subjects lie out in the world, waiting to be picked up, exedurations would unnecessarily threaten creditability. Accuracies, as in Márkus Melinda`s essay, draw attention a lot more than exedurations: "Titanic is the most popular and successful film in our times, and it is among the best films ever made in Hollywood. It has always filled the audience with horror and fear since so many innocent people had to die there in 1912."
It is the conclusions of the articles that catch the readers` eye in many occasions, by evoking thoughts brought up by the subject. The theme introduced develops usually to near-perfection by the last sentences of the conclusion. At least this is what we would expect. But to stop at the proper place is much harder than one would think. A conclusion may sum up, pose generic questions about its subject. Conclusions should not however chew on what has already been told the reader in the context. The writer has to have the instinct of when and how to stop. This is just as important on the road to success as the introduction, and to hold the reader’s attention all through the paper. "Because a good last sentence - or paragraph - is a joy in itself" ( Zinsser 78).
When the writer chooses a subject close to his heart, it is not unusual that a clear, objective point isn’t stated in the conclusion. The writer does not have to provide opposing views in the text, but that might help the reader to understand the concept better. Giving a personal summary is accepted when writing a paper concerned with such subjects as found in a sport’s section, but will not go in a paper read by people with interests on a wider scale. In both of her conclusions, Márkus Melinda provided further information on her subject: "One of the most successful films is about to become the first billion dollar moviegoer released. “She analyzes the reasons for the great success, and urges the readers to go and see the film, giving a personal opinion at the end. Vadon Balázs and Tánczos Balázs had chosen quite sensitive themes. In their different conclusions, they introduced reasons smoking and alcohol are part of the lives of some. "I will give off smoking as soon as I realize that time has come to give it off, but as long as I enjoy it, I enjoy it"(Vadon Balázs)."It is only a lie that alcohol is the enemy of society. Alcoholism only indicates that there are some troubles with it"(Tánczos Balázs).In the second conclusions they put the opinion of those who stand up clearly against these habits, in the spotlight. "Everyone should finally realize that: "A dohányzás káros az egészségre"(Vadon Balázs)."The only thing I would like is that people would consider their attitude to alcohol and would consume it in a civilized way, as grown-ups" (Tánczos Balázs).Their main concerns were at the end, only after both aspects were clear to the reader. To be tolerant is a basic need in life, and this they could wisely use as their last sentence.
Conclusion
After a deeper study of my classmates` essays, I found that the introduction and the conclusion have to form a frame. Each piece of writing has to stick to its targeted audience’s requirements, both in subject, language, and information. By writing two introductions and two conclusions for one theme, I believe, the writer and the reader gets a clearer, multi-aspect view. If the audiences` attention is lost, or is not captured at all, the writing technique needs to be reconsidered. It does depend on the theme, place the article will appear, and the right tone, but most of all it is the writer and the technique applied that stand out there in the spotlight, waiting to be judged.
Writing the introduction and the conclusion of an article is the hardest task for me. To catch the readers` attention from the first sentence and keep hold of it until the last requires knowledge just as an interesting topic. The language and contents have to stand up to the audience’s expectations, and transmit the author’s thoughts on the subject. The reader wants to be kept inquisitive, though this requirement challenges most, it can be tackled by all. In my paper, I will present the hardships and solutions of writing essays with two introductions and two conclusions. Based on the essays of my classmates, hoping to facilitate success in other cases.
Method
I had asked my classmates to lend me their essays for further study, namely `Two introductions and two conclusions`. These were handed in for Horváth József’s course, `Writing and Research Skills` we attended in the spring semester of 1998 in JPU, Pécs. Through the essays I am going to try, to give a clear picture on how to keep the reader’s attention, or what could be still improved for the cause. As for professional background I had chosen William Zinsser’s `The Lead` and `The Ending` chapters. In these chapters he aims to help writers find their abilities in holding readers` attention, by starting with a capturing introduction and a memorable conclusion. The technique of my analysis was to contract in these essays the themes used in the two introductions to capture the attention of the readers, and I had looked for a personal thought or a general question raised in both conclusions. I did not only look for the successes in reaching the ultimate target, but put the essays against each other to find the failures and successes in each step.
Results and Discussion
The first introduction, in all four essays at my disposal, pointed out clearly the topic. When discussing specifically sensitive subjects, as Vadon Balázs has done in his essay, he clearly pointed out one kind of opinion on the subject in the first introduction, and the opposite in the other, targeting people with different thoughts on the matter. In these introductions, accurate data: "A dohányzás káros az egészségre. 36/1196. (XII. 11.) FM - NM - IKIM együttes rendelete." (Vadon Balázs) But the subject touched, awakens questions pro and contra, in the readers: "Who gives a damn whether smoking damages my health." (Vadon Balázs)
Introductions do not have to raise accurate questions, political, economic or cultural. The highest goal of introductions is to awaken curiosity for the rest of the piece. Keeping the reader’s focus on the article, inspiring the individual thoughts about what has been written, is something I believe most writers hope for. "Therefore the lead must capture the reader immediately and force him to keep reading" (Zinsser 65). One way to reach this target, is by a short, perhaps witty sentence that makes everyone interested in what the writer has to say about the subject.
I found that out of the four essays` two introductions, all writers turned to different audiences in the two introductions. Tánczos Balázs, who wrote about alcohol, in his first introduction supported information, that would probably find capturing: "Drinking was indeed a ceremony during the feasts." (Tánczos Balázs) Finding the fitting subject, targeting a group of people who may be interested in reading more about the field, supporting data, keeping the attention without boring the readers`, adding personal opinion and raising adequate questions is quite a task. It requires knowledge, practice and often failures to learn from.
The core of an article is pulled along, as the introduction and the conclusion set the frame. Zinsser calls attention to the proper use of verbs, which are considered the main actors of the sentence. Active verbs should be used in articles preferably to the passive ones. He marks their difference as: "The difference between life and death for a writer" (110). Passive structures, especially with long sentences, may make the reader unsure of what he reads. Adverbs and adjectives are usually extras, often quite unnecessary, since the nouns already carry the concepts. There is a simple rule Zinsser suggests: "Make your adjectives do the work that needs to be done"(112). Adjectives are help the reader see the "blackness” or hear the fearful cries. The main difference lies in the frequency of their use. With this we arrived to the question of a writer’s creditability, for its sake exeduration should be clearly avoided. When articles concerning everyday and special subjects lie out in the world, waiting to be picked up, exedurations would unnecessarily threaten creditability. Accuracies, as in Márkus Melinda`s essay, draw attention a lot more than exedurations: "Titanic is the most popular and successful film in our times, and it is among the best films ever made in Hollywood. It has always filled the audience with horror and fear since so many innocent people had to die there in 1912."
It is the conclusions of the articles that catch the readers` eye in many occasions, by evoking thoughts brought up by the subject. The theme introduced develops usually to near-perfection by the last sentences of the conclusion. At least this is what we would expect. But to stop at the proper place is much harder than one would think. A conclusion may sum up, pose generic questions about its subject. Conclusions should not however chew on what has already been told the reader in the context. The writer has to have the instinct of when and how to stop. This is just as important on the road to success as the introduction, and to hold the reader’s attention all through the paper. "Because a good last sentence - or paragraph - is a joy in itself" ( Zinsser 78).
When the writer chooses a subject close to his heart, it is not unusual that a clear, objective point isn’t stated in the conclusion. The writer does not have to provide opposing views in the text, but that might help the reader to understand the concept better. Giving a personal summary is accepted when writing a paper concerned with such subjects as found in a sport’s section, but will not go in a paper read by people with interests on a wider scale. In both of her conclusions, Márkus Melinda provided further information on her subject: "One of the most successful films is about to become the first billion dollar moviegoer released. “She analyzes the reasons for the great success, and urges the readers to go and see the film, giving a personal opinion at the end. Vadon Balázs and Tánczos Balázs had chosen quite sensitive themes. In their different conclusions, they introduced reasons smoking and alcohol are part of the lives of some. "I will give off smoking as soon as I realize that time has come to give it off, but as long as I enjoy it, I enjoy it"(Vadon Balázs)."It is only a lie that alcohol is the enemy of society. Alcoholism only indicates that there are some troubles with it"(Tánczos Balázs).In the second conclusions they put the opinion of those who stand up clearly against these habits, in the spotlight. "Everyone should finally realize that: "A dohányzás káros az egészségre"(Vadon Balázs)."The only thing I would like is that people would consider their attitude to alcohol and would consume it in a civilized way, as grown-ups" (Tánczos Balázs).Their main concerns were at the end, only after both aspects were clear to the reader. To be tolerant is a basic need in life, and this they could wisely use as their last sentence.
Conclusion
After a deeper study of my classmates` essays, I found that the introduction and the conclusion have to form a frame. Each piece of writing has to stick to its targeted audience’s requirements, both in subject, language, and information. By writing two introductions and two conclusions for one theme, I believe, the writer and the reader gets a clearer, multi-aspect view. If the audiences` attention is lost, or is not captured at all, the writing technique needs to be reconsidered. It does depend on the theme, place the article will appear, and the right tone, but most of all it is the writer and the technique applied that stand out there in the spotlight, waiting to be judged.
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