Introduction
In First-Year Proficiency Essays the hardest chore is to write effective introductions and conclusions. Both a good introductory paragraph and a well-constructed concluding paragraph contribute to the success of the essay. They exert influence on the readers' attitude towards the theme and on the impact the essay has on the audience. While introduction creates a first impression, conclusion is the last contact between the writer and the reader. Both paragraphs can strengthen or weaken the whole of the essay.
Method
My aim is to analyze how effective introductions and conclusions students write and to what degree they connect these two parts of the essay. I do this analysis with the help of ten essays chosen at random. These essays were written in 1996. First I will analyze the introductory paragraphs of the ten essays, then the concluding paragraphs and finally the connections between them. A theoretical part precedes the analyzis where I will examine what kind of criteria these paragraphs should meet.
Results and Discussion
The aim of introductory paragraphs is to arouse the interest of the audience and to attract its attention. This purpose can be achieved in different ways. It might be useful if the reader feels he is familiar with the topic. The easiest way to attain this object is to touch upon experiences which might have happened to the reader as well. If the writer is not sure that the topic will capture attention, the writer can choose special methods such as asking questions, referring to current problems, telling a short story which matches the aim and mood of the essay, adducing opinions which contradict the opinion the writer will develop in what follows (Wiener, 1984, pp. 262-263). The introductory paragraph must indicate the subject the paper will be about, and it has to reveal the writer's standpoint. It is crucial that this paragraph has to create the basic tone of the whole essay. The introduction prepares the thesis-statement. It brings the writer's and the reader's mood of thought into harmony. The thesis-statement is usually the last sentence of the introduction. In fact it serves as the conclusion of this paragraph (Rackham & Bertagnolli, 1988, p. 264). It indicates what the audience can expect regarding the content of the following parts of the paper . This is the point where the reader begins to look at the topic with the writer's eyes (personal communication, Horváth József, May, 1997).
One of the viewpoints of essay-analysis can be to what degree the ten students carried out these principles. Most of them endeavoured to arouse the interest of the audience and they generally succeeded. The most frequent types of introductions in the analyzed First-Year Proficiency Essays were:
- a short summary which led to the thesis-statement (40%),
- an overview of the topic in three or four sentences, which was completed
in the body of the essay by the writer's mentioning more details (30%),
- a list of those circumstances, facts which help the reader understand the attitudes or understand the topic (20%).
Good introductions had a beneficial effect on the essays, because they determined the line the writer followed. Therefore, they helped the students focus on the topic. Some of the introductions seized the reader's interest, indicated the subject, but they did not include a thesis-statement. Thus, the writer did not narrow the topic. The aim did not become clear. This might be the reason of the essay becoming a little bit rambling and less well-constructed. One of the papers ("Explain how to e-mail a friend") had an introduction which seemed to be written only to fulfil the formal requirements of essay writing and to increase the number of words. There were irrelevant, obvious statements in it, and regarding the length of the essay, the introduction was too long. By analyzing the tone of the introductory paragraphs it would be more difficult to form groups, because their style varied. Some of them only stated facts, some of them were ironic or humorous, and so on.
The other important part of the essay is the concluding paragraph. When writing a conclusion the writer has to fulfil several criteria. First, it must be in connection directly with the theme, and it should not introduce new ideas. There are two kinds of conclusions: summary and evaluation. But summaries may not be sufficient; which is why the two types often co-occur (Gere, 1988, pp. 261-262). A good concluding paragraph tries to make the reader understand what kind of thoughts the writer wanted to show the audience, and what kind of topic the writer developed in the body of the essay. It is crucial that the tone of the conclusion should adjust to the tone of the essay. The last sentence can raise the effect if it strengthens the writer's ideas, because this sentence has the last impact on the reader (Winterowd & Murray, 1983, p. 83).
By analyzing the logic, the role, the effect and the length of conclusions one can ascertain several facts. First, they resulted from the facts and arguments. Some students ended the essay by creating new aspects of the theme, and prompted the reader to think the topic over. Since the vast majority (80%) drafted some kinds of methods or advice, they wanted to emphasise them in the conclusion or they suggested several solutions. Reading these essays the audience can understand the aim of the writer. Some of the concluding paragraphs were especially original, full of bright ideas. 90% of the conclusions in the analyzed essays summarized rather than evaluated. The latter one can be noticed only in one essay, but the two types together do not occur in any of the essays. In two or three papers the students brought up intriguing issues, but the conclusions were boring. The reason might be that they only echoed the statements made earlier in the same words. Therefore, they did not increase but rather weakened the effect of the whole of the essays. Regarding the length of the writings almost all of them were appropriate. They adjusted to the length of the essays. Only one of the students made the mistake of ending the paper ("Explain how to e-mail a friend") by one concluding sentence. Moreover, even this sentence was not relevant. Fortunately, none of the students left the writing without conclusion and let the reader guess. The last sentences also merit attention from the point of view of how much they increase the effect made on the audience. Two of the last sentences were outstanding. One of them was an ending with a bang, in fact the repetition of the first sentence of the essay: "Poor Romeo and Juliet!" ("Explain how to fax a lover") The second one astonishes the reader by contradicting the previous statements. But when one thinks it over one will realize that it only appears to be a contradiction.
The kinds of connections between introductions and conclusions are also worth analyzing. "A good conclusion often echoes the beginning of an essay by reminding the reader of the focus. Such a technique seems especially satisfying to a reader. It creates a sense of wholeness and completeness. The introduction and conclusion work together like bookends to support and contain the body of the argument." (Rackham & Bertagnolli, 1988, p. 273) Thus, a good conclusion reinforces the thesis-statement of the introduction, and it draws the topic into a united whole. It is also important that the tone of these two parts of the essay should agree with each other.
I also analyzed to what degree the students implemented these principles. This was the first scope where it can be established that each of the ten students connected the two parts in some way. The most frequent method (60%) was that they summarized what they had disclosed in the introduction, and complemented it with several facts that followed from the content of the essay. Another group (40%) referred back to the thesis-statement, and reinforced its significance. The latter way seemed to be more effective. The method of answering the questions asked in the introduction might have been applied as well (Heffernan 1986, p. 45). Analysing the essays I experienced that none of the students took advantage of this possibility.
Conclusion
The majority (70%) of the students succeeded in carrying out the writing of introductions and conclusions in the analyzed First-Year Proficiency Essays. Concerning the methods, they solved this task in different ways. They were careful to connect the two important parts of the essay. All of these facts prove that 70% or 80% of them possessed theoretical knowledge, and they could put it into practice as well. From the foregoing it is clear that all of the analyzed essays except for one or two are better than the average.
I would like to express my thanks to Horváth József for revising my first draft and to Korsós Gizella for typing.
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