W 022 F

Introduction
One of the criteria identified for essay writing is the focus that gives a policy on which the whole essay must be constructed. The theme selection table can enable students to generrate a topic but they need to be aware of how to approach the theme that is selected by themselves. It is not the same how they discuss the relevant aspects of their selected assignements. The aim of my research is to present why the writers chose there themes and how they could develop and demonstrate the skills tested on the bases of the focus.

Method
I selected five proficiency tests with different grades but all of them have passed the essay test. I read all the essays in the row becoming higher. In this way I could see how many diffrerences were among the essays. I examined the paragraphs within the essays to have an insight of how the writers keep themselves to the focus. On the bases of the essays' context I observed why the writers chose the selected themes and how they could include their experiences into it. On the other hand I valued their aspects that based the storyline itself.

Result and Discussion

Code 62 essay-5 points
How to design a perfect Christmas-A general Hungarian audience

It is clear from this essay that the writer directs it to a general Hungarian audience. She approaches the theme in the most general way, trying to draw all her experience into it.
At first, her informations about religion are found wanting. In the first paragraph she states that we celebrate the birth of God at Christmas time. It is not true. Jesus Christ was born in this time, not God and people do not go to churches just because they want to sing Christmas songs together.

The writer seems not to know so much about the real values of Christmas. That is why she would like to illuminate the different factors that 'can make' Christmas perfect.

Throughout the second, third, and fourth paragraph she deals with these factors, such as gifts, Christmas tree, and food. They are only complementary elements of Christmas but this essay lays to much stress on them.

In the end the writer traces the conclusion back to her strategies. I can not see her own taste in this essay only the common views. 'Perfect taste, like perfect pitch is a gift from God. But a certain amount can be acquired. The trick is to study those who have it.' (6, p127)

It is sure that she insists on the focus all the time. She supports the relevant aspects of the selected theme by means of her experience, but the false view makes this essay stereotyped. The writer does not say anything new that somebody else would not know.

CODE 26 essay-6 points
How to design a perfect Christmas-Hungarian university students

It is not evident from this essay why the writer has chosen the Hungarian university student for the audience. He could have written as well as to a general Hungarian audience.

He also approaches the question with great generality but with better constructed aspect than the essay coded with 62.

He presents us all the 'tasks' he knows to make Christmas perfect and I can state that he has a great experience in it. Like the essay coded with 62 he highlights the utility of his strategies in an extreme way and he seems also to have forgotten to point out the most beautiful feature of Christmas: the love. This is the significant task we have to carry out. Probably people today do not take good care of love. That is why neither this essay nor the essay coded with 62 are really interested in emphasizing the importance of love. But this is the meaning of Christmas time.
He does not use one of Zinsserian tips connected with punctuation at all. 'Among good writers it is the short sentence that predominates, and don' t tell me about Norman Mailer-he' s a genius. If you want to write long sentences be a genius'. (6, pp 113-114)

In spite of this he focuses to the selected theme and he builds the storyline on it.

CODE 5-7 points
How to design a Hollywood movie-Young business people

The introduction of this essay begins with a sentence including the term 'always' (3, p1). It expresses generality, even though film-making in Hollywood has flourished for the past hundred years. Is there such a thing as 'the experience' (3, p1) which applies for everyone? The term 'same skeleton' (3, p1) is also general, although many things can fit into this term.

In spite of the fact that he writes about Hollywood, he should not need to exaggerate. He ignores one of Zinsserian tips: 'Don't overstate' (6, p117).

He does not pay attention to the issue itself. Only in the second paragraph does he start to deal with what should director do. Finally we have got the point. He refers to 'three basic elements that today's American films contain' (3, p1) but this thought does not make the essay sonorous at all. Not all of American films base on financial support, Hollywood stars, and computer technique. The writer piles up the overstatements.

The expression 'fortunately happens to know' (3, p2) is a sarcastic one, that gives colour to the atmosphere of the essay. Standard Topic's Collection (STC) 'is another good choice to make the essay effective and to keep himself to the focus.

CODE 50-8 point
How to design a girlfriend-Young business people

The writer conveyes the essay from general into a concrete picture. He works it out in great detail, using his imaginative power in business people’s point of view.

Throughout his essay he never digresses from the theme of designing a girlfriend. It is a good point for the sake of the focus.

Maybe he has chosen the topic, because Hungarian young businessmen are looked down by the society, especially if they have fancy cars and mobile phones. He builds his essay on his trite storyline.

He has also forgotten Zinsserian tip about punctuation. He uses such long sentences which can be broken into three short sentences. They are full of long lists with unknown and unnecessery words such as 'generosity, sentimentality, sangfrois, indulgence, reconciliation, jocularity, domesticity, and boundless tenderness' (4, pp 2-3) that serves no functions. 'But the secret of good writing is to strip every sentence to its cleanest components' (6, p7).

Probably he thought that these words were to be lift the whole essay but they were not. In this way the reader can not keep pace with the train of thought. The verbiage results in clutter which disturbs the reader and makes him tired. 'If the reader is lost, it is generally because the writer has not been carefull enough to keep him on path' (6, p9).

The whole essay was less effective and original than the one coded with 35, although the latter one does not use unknown words.

CODE 35-9 points
How to ruin a Hollywood movie-A general Hungarian audiences

This essay starts effectively using well-chosen words such as 'enormous', 'standard-setting', 'dream factory', 'not-yet-Western-but-no-more-Eastern Europe' (5, p1). The end of her introduction is also professional: she writes a deductive sentence at the end which makes the reader feel that now comes the real discussion: she writes about US advantage and comes the 'movie'-part.

The end of the second paragraph follows the same 'screenplay'. It invites the reader to read further.

From the third paragraph where she uses very impressive expression 'hardly even worth the ink' (5, p1) I felt the essay was not realy worked out till the end where in the last paragraph the writer has a few powerful and smart, critical and conclusion-like sentences.

Students often go to movies and since she is a student who studies English, I think the American-question is closer to her, she looks at it in a different way than 'average' students do. She saw many films and she thought she would have enough database. She also had a strong opinion about Hollywood movies and now there was a chance when she could tell someone about it anonymously and she also could be as cynical as she wanted.

The use of cynism was well-planned, too: if something is written in an extremely cynical way, the readers would have their own arguments against it.

I think she had chosen the general Hungarian audience because she more or less knows the general feelings for Americanization, but she could have chosen Hungarian university students as well. If she would have chosen the latter she could not have used the expression 'dream factory', 'Hollywood dream', 'the audience needs relaxation', and 'people have a device for violence' (5, p1). These terms could be used definitely for the whole motion picture audience and are not the characteristics of students.

To sum up, it can be stated that she wrote an effective beginning, a tepid discussion and a not-so-effective end. But she used such words with she could keep herself to the topic. Zinsserian statement is valid to her: 'Good writing is lean and confident'. (6, p113)

Conclusion
According to my research I can state that no students would choose to write about activities they did rather often. They were likely to select from the second column first on the basis of their experiences. When this choice was made, students could go on to select a presentation type from the first column and then to the third column to decide on how to further restrict their themes. They included their experiences to the essays with less or greater success. They could not develop always the skills tested on the basis of focus because they did not pick the themes and the reader audience type in the best way. As it turned out that they vacillated among the different audience.

I hope my research will help other students to select their themes in a good way and to be able to fit in with the focus.