INTRODUCTION
Writing paragraphs often causes problems to students when they have to write essays, because they have to know many rules for writing well built up essays. An essay will be well built up if the paragraphs are well organised and developed in details. I will give in this paper some ideas and advice to students about the rules of paragraphing, according to some reference books. Before doing it, I will present some definitions of paragraph:
"A paragraph is a collection of sentences that should begin with an indention and that should explain a controlling idea" (Leggett, Mead & Kramer 1988 p. 374). Another book defines a paragraph as a
"small box of sentences, making a whole shape that is at the same time part of another whole. It is a miniature essay itself, with its own variable structure" (Hall, 1988 p. 219).
And finally:
"A well-structured paragraph contains a topic sentence which states the main point, supporting sentences with details to convince the reader that the main point is of value, and a concluding sentence which will help the reader completely understand the topic idea" (Gray & Melis, 1996 p. 10).
The keywords of paragraph writing are unity, main idea and topic sentence. Although there are several types of paragraphs (introductory, body and concluding paragraphs), these keywords exist in all sorts.
METHOD
I did library research to get an answer to my question - 'How to write a well organised paragraph?' - I was looking for books dealing with analysing and describing paragraphs, I watched their contents, then I borrowed about six - seven books that present the main rules of paragraph writing. I read the chapters about paragraphs and paragraphing, and I took notes. There were some books from which I could not take notes, because they were without explanation, but full of examples. These books were also very useful, because the sample paragraphs helped me a lot. After I had read all the books I wanted, I tried to connect the ideas from each book to write my paper. I chose this topic because I have a lot of problems with writing. I often do not know how to begin, what to write, or how to finish a paragraph or an essay. Reading the reference books was very useful for me, because they gave me a lot of advice. I hope that my work will be clearer and that I will write better paragraphs in the future, and I also hope that this paper will be useful if students read it.
RESULTS AND DISCUSSION
Paragraph writing has some rules that the writer has to follow in order to write a good essay. First of all, a paragraph must be a unit and secondly, it must be coherent. These two features belong together, because a paragraph cannot be a unit without being coherent. Coherence links the writer's thoughts within a paragraph, and also among the paragraphs of the essay. Another important aspect within a paragraph is developing: to explain and illustrate the main idea of the paragraph. If the writer misses one of these elements, the paragraph will collapse. Lack of unity means jumping from subject to subject with no clear purpose, lack of coherence means that the ideas are not clearly connected, and the lack of developing does not make a sense for the reader (Leggett, Mead, & Kramer, 1988 p. 374). The next step the writer has to remember is that he or she has to take into consideration the reader to whom he or she writes his or her paragraph.
The first step that the writer has to take into consideration when writing an essay or a paragraph is the concept of unity supported by topic sentences and relating sentences. A unified paragraph has a single clear focus and each sentence relates to that focus. If any sentence is unrelated, it is out of the subject and can destroy the paragraph's unity. The writer achieves that focus by organising the paragraph around the main idea, which is called the thesis. The thesis can be implied, but usually it is explicitly stated in the topic sentence. Topic sentences help the reader to understand easily the main idea and they also raise the reader's expectations toward the rest of the paragraph (Leggett, Mead, & Kramer, 1988 p. 377). The role of the topic sentence is to summarise the main idea of the whole paragraph, and to present its subject. This main idea is often a generalisation, and the rest of the paragraph supports its evidence by examples and details, which explain and elaborate this topic. Topic sentences consist of two parts: a general and a specific one. They summarise the content of the whole paragraph and can contain keywords. All my reference books call the reader's attention to the importance of topic sentences that hold the paragraph together. Without good topic sentences the reader will not understand the main idea of the text. When the writer has found the good topic sentence, the next step is to develop the paragraph with other sentences taking into account the conceptions of coherence and unity. The writer must concentrate on the main idea, and the relating sentences must be connected to each other and to the topic sentence, too.
Secondly, the writer has to provide coherence, which means to link the thoughts and the sentences within the paragraph in a logical way. These linked ideas should be related to the paragraph's main idea to be clear, and the relationship between the sentences also must be clear. The paragraph must seem a whole, "not just a collection of individual sentences" (Hall, 1988 p. 227). Besides connecting the ideas, the writer has to use the means of connecting language that means repeating keywords and phrases, parallel grammatical structures and transitional markers, and using old information to introduce new information (Leggett, Mead, & Kramer, 1988 p. 395).
Transitions occur within the paragraph as the way to move from one sentence to another or between paragraphs as the way of moving from topic to topic while keeping the essay whole. Transitions also help the writer to "gain time to complete the argument with eloquence and confidence" (Gray, & Melis, 1996 p. 12). When the writer has the main idea in mind, and he or she knows what to write, then he or she has to begin to organise these ideas and build up a coherent paragraph from them. A logical organisation makes the paragraph more comprehensible: the reader understands more easily the writer's idea. It is not enough to present the ideas one after other, the writer must also create some link between them and reveal those links to the reader who may not find them as obvious as they seem to the writer. A typical mistake of paragraph or essay writing is, for example, when the writer jumps from pronoun to pronoun, so there is no coherence between the sentences, and that is why the reader cannot follow the writer's purpose or understand to whom the whole paragraph is written. Another problem of coherence can be if the writer presents an idea, and in the next sentence he or she presents a new idea which is totally different from the previous one, and there is no link between them. In this case, the reader will not understand the text, because the sentences fall into pieces: they do not hold together.
The next step that the writer has to follow, is to develop the paragraph by giving details about the subject stated in the topic sentence. The reader needs these details to be able to understand the writer's thinking. Using paragraphs effectively enables an idea to draw attention to ideas they want to highlight and to separate the points from each other (Gere, 1988 p. 251). The type of development we use - Donald Hall calls it the 'how' of the paragraph - depends on the material the writer is using - the 'what' - and the purpose he has in mind - the 'why'. "The container takes its shape from what it contains" (Hall, 1988 p. 243). The means of development can be a series of features: definition, comparison, contrast, analysis, classification, cause, effect. In the developing part of the paragraph the writer explains and supports the general statement of the main idea, expresses the ideas clearly and completely. If the writer gives too little information, his or her paragraph will not be developed and comprehensible for the reader. Giving too much information can also cause problems, because the writer can become lost in details and can derive from the main idea of the text. While developing a paragraph, the writer has to take into consideration the conceptions of order and clarity. Thoughts must follow each other with a sense of purpose, because purpose makes clarity. Chronological order is the easiest and the most common method for ordering the material in a paragraph, but the writer can use other methods too, such as from less to more important, or from periphery to centre, from smaller to larger.
Another important aspect of paragraph writing is the point of view of the reader, for whom the paragraph or the essay is written. There is a strong connection between the writer and the reader, because paragraphs package the writer's meaning for the reader (Leggett, Mead, & Kramer, 1988 p. 374). For the reader paragraph signals a break, it calls the attention to the fact that something changes and it gives directions and helps to connect the writer with the audience, and it manipulates the reader's attention (Hall, 1988 p. 220). The writer also has to take into consideration the reader's expectations and the point of view from which the reader will see the writing. If it is not a unit, not coherent enough or not well developed, the reader will not understand the writer's purpose. The reader wants to understand the text when he or she begins to read it, and if it is not comprehensible, he or she will not get to the end of it.
CONCLUSION
Paragraph writing is not an easy exercise, but everyone can learn it following the given rules. The writer has to begin his or her paragraph with a topic sentence, which presents the main idea of the paragraph; the other sentences have to support this main idea and give details about it. Then he or she has to develop the paragraph, taking into account that the thoughts and sentences must be linked in order to provide coherence and unity in the paragraph. Without this, the reader will not understand what the writing is about, because it is the reader who will read the writing and evaluate it. He or she has to follow and understand the writer's ideas and main purpose, so the writer has to be as clear as possible.
In this paper I tried to follow the rules of paragraph writing. Students often do not have these rules in mind. They do not write topic sentences or they lack unity, coherence or development. My aim with this paper was to present to students the rules of well organised paragraphs. If the writer follows these rules, he or she will be able to collect and connect his or her ideas and will write effective, well organised paragraphs which are useful in essays and compositions.
Showing posts with label coherence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label coherence. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
W 070 F
1. Introduction to the Proficiency Test
All first -year English majors at Janus Pannonius University have to take a Proficiency Test . The test , which is taken at the end of spring semesters , filters students whether they are allowed or not to continue their studies .If they pass the test , their Language Practice courses and credits become accepted ,and if they fail , they have to repeat the courses .On the other hand , it is some research , that shows which skills students have to progress .There are assigments in it from every field which are needed to become professional in English language . These are a Grammar and Usage Test , a Listening Comprehension Test , a Reading Comprehension Test , and an Essay Writing Test . I would like to stress the importance of the Essay Writing Test . It highlights the students' weakness in essay writing skills and shows what the students have to develop .
Every year in Essay Writing Test there are three colums which the students have to select her phrase from . With the chosen title they have to write a 400 to 450 - word essay . Two cross-markers assess the essays by five categories , which are Accuracy , Focus , Vocabulary , Paragraph Organization and Essay Organization . The markers read the essays separately and make notes for each other , then score them by aggreement . The categories are evaluated 10 points which means total 50 points . 26 out of 50 pass the test . In 1996 the possible titles of the Essay Writing Test were the following :
Discuss how to e-mail a friend
Explain how to listen to a teacher
Analyze how to call a lover
Present evidence on how to fax a parent
Raise doubts about how to argue with a boss
(Horvath , J. The assesment...)
The cross - markers were two tutors of JPTE English Department : Barbara Gonzales and Horvath Jozsef .
2. Method
What I am going to do is to attempt to analyze four essays of 1996 Proficiency Test in Focus and Essay Organisation aspects . The selected essays have similar titles and are scored 29 to 33 points . As a help I used for my essay the Cross-markers' Comments on Proficiency Test Essays , printed by Horvath Jozsef and from the same tutor a study entitled The Assessment of Essay Writing Skills in the First - Year Proficiency Test . By these references I became aquainted with the evaluation of Essay Writing Tests and was able to analyze the chosen essays.
3. Focus on Focus and Essay Organisation
3. Essay 1 . Discuss how to argue with a teacher (29 points)
The first essay was entitled Discuss how to argue with a teacher and scored 29 points out of 50 . It was one of the weakest compositions as the markers ' comment says: "A near - fail " . In the opening paragraph the writer announces three groups of students whether they have the right to argue with a teacher or not . Unfortunatelly there was no any mention about his\ her thesis and where he\she wanted to arrive . The main part of the essay discribes the three groups of students and at the end of the essay there is a summary . As good the form of the essay is , so bad is the focus . Writing about primary schools and pupils attending it the author says that the " little child have a lack of the knowledge to be able to " argue with the teacher . ( Essay 1 . p2 .) The question can be raised how this paragraph connects with the theme . The digression is continuing in the third paragraph . These phrases , what " duty " (Essay 1 . p2 )the pupils have in secondary schools and how they have to distinguish between the importance of the subjects, are not fit into the essay . The only acceptable part about the topic was the one that showed how students should argue in a polite manner . According to the writer the needed elements of polite manner are " normal mood with a right intonation " and " mastered enough for the debate " (Essay 1 .p2). Furthermore , in the case of argument between university student and his tutor the demanded method is " to handle each other as equal partners "(Essay 1. p). These are good observations but not enough explanation of the thesis . The last paragraph does not include any conclusion , or much meaning . But what should the reader expect in two sentences ? If there is neither thesis to devise , there is no conclusion to arrive .
3.2 Essay 2 . Raise doubts about how to listen to a teacher .(31 points)
The score of the second essay was two points higher (31) than the previous one had got and titled Raise doubts about how to listen to a teacher .The biggest mistake which was made that he\ she had forgotten to write down the title of the essay . It lost its form without any title and there was no indention which is replaced by empty lines . In the introduction he\she built up a thesis very well . He\She started with stressing education . He\She thought the higher education " we " had the better " we " lived and that is the reason why people endeavour to be high educated in which the teachers ' assistance is very important . Finally he\she says " quite difficult for the student to find an optimal way of listening " (Essay 2. p2).
The main part is devided into two parts describing how Mr. Active and Ms. Passive listen to the teacher and what doubts can be raised about them . These denominations ( Mr. Active and Ms. Passive ) reflect not only the author' sense of humour but unfortunately his\her chauvinism as well . Mr . Active feels himself to be cleverer than his teacher and he is asking all the time and telling his opinion. Ms. Passive is in silence during lessons but her "big brown eyes " are always on the teacher confusing him . As Mr. Active' exaggerated attention , so Ms. Passive 's always looking "big brown eyes " make the teacher flustered . The author negatives Mr. Active and Ms. Passive and raises a third solution of normal student . Then he queries this third version as well and digress from the topic . As the marker's comment says "Kept forgetting what the essay was supposed to do "(Essay 2 .p3) , the writer lost his attention in the topic and there is no conclusion in the last paragraph.
3.3. Essay 3. Explain how to listen to a teacher .(32 points )
The third essay appears to be more specifying on the topic and titled Explain how to listen to a teacher and score 32 points . Its essay organisation is sufficient , the title and the paragraphs are correct , but its neatness is almost illegible . According to the first paragraph the thesis is about teacher - student relationship from the student's point of view . It is well organized , starting with the student as a listener in this relationship and is about ordinary lessons where all students are in connection with the teacher . The second paragraph seems to emphasize the first one , but it is not necessary . There are some problems in the third paragraph as well . The writer digresses from the topic describing the interests of the teacher and the student. The teacher should impart his knowledge to the student and make the lesson useful . At the end of the paragraph he tells how the teacher should teach to get the student's attention . Only the last sentence shows a view of the topic saying that " pretending to listen " is the most profitable for the student as well as for the teacher .
The second half of the essay is more unified than the first one . The writer expresses his\her opinion how to pretend to listen to a teacher . First of all the gazing eyes are very important . It is a sign of " your curious attention and thirst for knowledge " (Essay 3 .p3). Secondly the student keep in his mind the teachers ' desire and pay general attention to be able to answer . Finally the students have to be in silence and do their privat correspondence in secret . It is a very remarkable approach , but there were some inappropriate details . As a conclusion the writer says that instead of pretending , students should pay real attention to the teacher and profit from the lesson . Pretending is explained along the whole essay and is broken down in the last paragraph and a new thesis appears .
3.4. Essay 4 .Explain how to listen to a teacher . (33 points )
The title of the fourth essay which I have read is the same as the third one : Explain how to listen to a teacher . It scored 33 points . In terms of essay organisation the text is good . How the writer opens the essay shows his\her sense of humour , describing the teachers as a species called TEACHEROUS OUTERSPACEOUS , he finds listening to teachers difficult . Continuing the teachers ' critisism it is written down that teachers have their individualism and their bodies show not as their thoughts are . Furthermore teachers are sensitive and students should be careful not to hurt their "self- esteem ". The focus is not really on listening to teachers but blame them . Continuing the paragraph the author represents the sympathetic student " who attends classes regularly , communicates with teachers out of classroom "( Essay 4 .p3) but his mind is far away from his body . The writer refers to pretending . The conclusion is that if the student does not disturb the lesson and knows the teacher's need , the lesson will be useful and entertaining . The author was able to lead the thesis along the essay , explain the obstacles of listening and make a conclusion from it .
3. Conclusion
Without focus and essay organization a composition cannot be developed . With the lack of these elements essays can not be accepted stylistically .
First of all , not forgeting to write down the title at the top of the paper , the author has to devide the essay into three parts which are an introduction , a main part , and a conclusion in the end . These can include more paragraphs with topic sentences in them . If in a paragraph a topic sentence is developed with further details and thought s , the aim of the essay will be materialized . One problem , mainly in hand-written essays , is that the form of the essay is illegible. At the first glance the reader often meets unreadable paragraphs without indentation or arrows and cancellations . After writing down the draft the author should copy the faultless work . Another problem which appears in most cases that a well - built up essay has no connection with the title . In the case of essays entitled Explain how to listen to a teacher they critisize the teachers and describe boring and useless lessons instead of representing how students listen and how they should listen to their teachers .
What makes essays perfect and professional is planning. An experienced writer conciders what the aim of the essay and what topic would be worthy writing about. Usually, which theme the writer is interested in , is readable for the reader as well. If the author finds a theme or a title, and aims to share his/her opinion with the reader, the essay must be remarkable. The only condition is connection between title and essay.
The title depends on who will be the reading public, too. At these Proficiency Tests the readers were two cross- markers who evaluated the essays by given categories .The writer should provide not only interesting topic or title but proper organization and vocabulary.
In the introduction a thesis has to be set up according to the title. It should be the topic sentence of the paragraph as well as the whole essay. Essay writers tended to omit the thesis and the topic sentences in the paragraphs . Another problem in focusing is digress or further more lose attention in the topic . All the paragraphs should reflect on the topic and the writer should plan what he/she would like to expound in the main part. Explaining the thesis can be much more interesting if the author puts humour and personal experience into his writing. In the last paragraph which is the conclusion of the essay the writer tends to break down the thesis with a sentence: "But it is really not as good as ...." and build up another theory. At the end of the essay the writer should summarize the elements which he collected previously and make a conclusion or a solution of it. The thesis has to be corroborated.
All first -year English majors at Janus Pannonius University have to take a Proficiency Test . The test , which is taken at the end of spring semesters , filters students whether they are allowed or not to continue their studies .If they pass the test , their Language Practice courses and credits become accepted ,and if they fail , they have to repeat the courses .On the other hand , it is some research , that shows which skills students have to progress .There are assigments in it from every field which are needed to become professional in English language . These are a Grammar and Usage Test , a Listening Comprehension Test , a Reading Comprehension Test , and an Essay Writing Test . I would like to stress the importance of the Essay Writing Test . It highlights the students' weakness in essay writing skills and shows what the students have to develop .
Every year in Essay Writing Test there are three colums which the students have to select her phrase from . With the chosen title they have to write a 400 to 450 - word essay . Two cross-markers assess the essays by five categories , which are Accuracy , Focus , Vocabulary , Paragraph Organization and Essay Organization . The markers read the essays separately and make notes for each other , then score them by aggreement . The categories are evaluated 10 points which means total 50 points . 26 out of 50 pass the test . In 1996 the possible titles of the Essay Writing Test were the following :
Discuss how to e-mail a friend
Explain how to listen to a teacher
Analyze how to call a lover
Present evidence on how to fax a parent
Raise doubts about how to argue with a boss
(Horvath , J. The assesment...)
The cross - markers were two tutors of JPTE English Department : Barbara Gonzales and Horvath Jozsef .
2. Method
What I am going to do is to attempt to analyze four essays of 1996 Proficiency Test in Focus and Essay Organisation aspects . The selected essays have similar titles and are scored 29 to 33 points . As a help I used for my essay the Cross-markers' Comments on Proficiency Test Essays , printed by Horvath Jozsef and from the same tutor a study entitled The Assessment of Essay Writing Skills in the First - Year Proficiency Test . By these references I became aquainted with the evaluation of Essay Writing Tests and was able to analyze the chosen essays.
3. Focus on Focus and Essay Organisation
3. Essay 1 . Discuss how to argue with a teacher (29 points)
The first essay was entitled Discuss how to argue with a teacher and scored 29 points out of 50 . It was one of the weakest compositions as the markers ' comment says: "A near - fail " . In the opening paragraph the writer announces three groups of students whether they have the right to argue with a teacher or not . Unfortunatelly there was no any mention about his\ her thesis and where he\she wanted to arrive . The main part of the essay discribes the three groups of students and at the end of the essay there is a summary . As good the form of the essay is , so bad is the focus . Writing about primary schools and pupils attending it the author says that the " little child have a lack of the knowledge to be able to " argue with the teacher . ( Essay 1 . p2 .) The question can be raised how this paragraph connects with the theme . The digression is continuing in the third paragraph . These phrases , what " duty " (Essay 1 . p2 )the pupils have in secondary schools and how they have to distinguish between the importance of the subjects, are not fit into the essay . The only acceptable part about the topic was the one that showed how students should argue in a polite manner . According to the writer the needed elements of polite manner are " normal mood with a right intonation " and " mastered enough for the debate " (Essay 1 .p2). Furthermore , in the case of argument between university student and his tutor the demanded method is " to handle each other as equal partners "(Essay 1. p). These are good observations but not enough explanation of the thesis . The last paragraph does not include any conclusion , or much meaning . But what should the reader expect in two sentences ? If there is neither thesis to devise , there is no conclusion to arrive .
3.2 Essay 2 . Raise doubts about how to listen to a teacher .(31 points)
The score of the second essay was two points higher (31) than the previous one had got and titled Raise doubts about how to listen to a teacher .The biggest mistake which was made that he\ she had forgotten to write down the title of the essay . It lost its form without any title and there was no indention which is replaced by empty lines . In the introduction he\she built up a thesis very well . He\She started with stressing education . He\She thought the higher education " we " had the better " we " lived and that is the reason why people endeavour to be high educated in which the teachers ' assistance is very important . Finally he\she says " quite difficult for the student to find an optimal way of listening " (Essay 2. p2).
The main part is devided into two parts describing how Mr. Active and Ms. Passive listen to the teacher and what doubts can be raised about them . These denominations ( Mr. Active and Ms. Passive ) reflect not only the author' sense of humour but unfortunately his\her chauvinism as well . Mr . Active feels himself to be cleverer than his teacher and he is asking all the time and telling his opinion. Ms. Passive is in silence during lessons but her "big brown eyes " are always on the teacher confusing him . As Mr. Active' exaggerated attention , so Ms. Passive 's always looking "big brown eyes " make the teacher flustered . The author negatives Mr. Active and Ms. Passive and raises a third solution of normal student . Then he queries this third version as well and digress from the topic . As the marker's comment says "Kept forgetting what the essay was supposed to do "(Essay 2 .p3) , the writer lost his attention in the topic and there is no conclusion in the last paragraph.
3.3. Essay 3. Explain how to listen to a teacher .(32 points )
The third essay appears to be more specifying on the topic and titled Explain how to listen to a teacher and score 32 points . Its essay organisation is sufficient , the title and the paragraphs are correct , but its neatness is almost illegible . According to the first paragraph the thesis is about teacher - student relationship from the student's point of view . It is well organized , starting with the student as a listener in this relationship and is about ordinary lessons where all students are in connection with the teacher . The second paragraph seems to emphasize the first one , but it is not necessary . There are some problems in the third paragraph as well . The writer digresses from the topic describing the interests of the teacher and the student. The teacher should impart his knowledge to the student and make the lesson useful . At the end of the paragraph he tells how the teacher should teach to get the student's attention . Only the last sentence shows a view of the topic saying that " pretending to listen " is the most profitable for the student as well as for the teacher .
The second half of the essay is more unified than the first one . The writer expresses his\her opinion how to pretend to listen to a teacher . First of all the gazing eyes are very important . It is a sign of " your curious attention and thirst for knowledge " (Essay 3 .p3). Secondly the student keep in his mind the teachers ' desire and pay general attention to be able to answer . Finally the students have to be in silence and do their privat correspondence in secret . It is a very remarkable approach , but there were some inappropriate details . As a conclusion the writer says that instead of pretending , students should pay real attention to the teacher and profit from the lesson . Pretending is explained along the whole essay and is broken down in the last paragraph and a new thesis appears .
3.4. Essay 4 .Explain how to listen to a teacher . (33 points )
The title of the fourth essay which I have read is the same as the third one : Explain how to listen to a teacher . It scored 33 points . In terms of essay organisation the text is good . How the writer opens the essay shows his\her sense of humour , describing the teachers as a species called TEACHEROUS OUTERSPACEOUS , he finds listening to teachers difficult . Continuing the teachers ' critisism it is written down that teachers have their individualism and their bodies show not as their thoughts are . Furthermore teachers are sensitive and students should be careful not to hurt their "self- esteem ". The focus is not really on listening to teachers but blame them . Continuing the paragraph the author represents the sympathetic student " who attends classes regularly , communicates with teachers out of classroom "( Essay 4 .p3) but his mind is far away from his body . The writer refers to pretending . The conclusion is that if the student does not disturb the lesson and knows the teacher's need , the lesson will be useful and entertaining . The author was able to lead the thesis along the essay , explain the obstacles of listening and make a conclusion from it .
3. Conclusion
Without focus and essay organization a composition cannot be developed . With the lack of these elements essays can not be accepted stylistically .
First of all , not forgeting to write down the title at the top of the paper , the author has to devide the essay into three parts which are an introduction , a main part , and a conclusion in the end . These can include more paragraphs with topic sentences in them . If in a paragraph a topic sentence is developed with further details and thought s , the aim of the essay will be materialized . One problem , mainly in hand-written essays , is that the form of the essay is illegible. At the first glance the reader often meets unreadable paragraphs without indentation or arrows and cancellations . After writing down the draft the author should copy the faultless work . Another problem which appears in most cases that a well - built up essay has no connection with the title . In the case of essays entitled Explain how to listen to a teacher they critisize the teachers and describe boring and useless lessons instead of representing how students listen and how they should listen to their teachers .
What makes essays perfect and professional is planning. An experienced writer conciders what the aim of the essay and what topic would be worthy writing about. Usually, which theme the writer is interested in , is readable for the reader as well. If the author finds a theme or a title, and aims to share his/her opinion with the reader, the essay must be remarkable. The only condition is connection between title and essay.
The title depends on who will be the reading public, too. At these Proficiency Tests the readers were two cross- markers who evaluated the essays by given categories .The writer should provide not only interesting topic or title but proper organization and vocabulary.
In the introduction a thesis has to be set up according to the title. It should be the topic sentence of the paragraph as well as the whole essay. Essay writers tended to omit the thesis and the topic sentences in the paragraphs . Another problem in focusing is digress or further more lose attention in the topic . All the paragraphs should reflect on the topic and the writer should plan what he/she would like to expound in the main part. Explaining the thesis can be much more interesting if the author puts humour and personal experience into his writing. In the last paragraph which is the conclusion of the essay the writer tends to break down the thesis with a sentence: "But it is really not as good as ...." and build up another theory. At the end of the essay the writer should summarize the elements which he collected previously and make a conclusion or a solution of it. The thesis has to be corroborated.
W 020 F
Introduction:
At Janus Pannonius University, first-year students have to sit for an examination, called Proficiency Test, at the and of the second term. One of the tasks the Test comprises is writing an essay. The examinee has to produce a composition of 400 to 450 words, in 4 or 5 paragraphs. In 1996, there was 140 minutes’ time available to accomplish two more tasks, and students can dispose the time at their own disrection. The essays were corrected and evaluated by tutors who had formerly given writing courses at the university for first-year students In 1996, the assessments was based on the following criteria: Focus, Accuracy, Vocabulary, Paragraph, Organization and Essay Organization, each of them was worth up to 10 marks.
I chose two of these criteria for further analysis: Paragraph and Essay Organization. These two categories, as the other three categories, were examined by the tutors via a set of questions. Concerning Paragraph Organization the questions were: Are paragraph ideas introduced by topic sentence?; Are the topic sentences developed in the paragraphs? For Essay Organization the questions were: Does the essay depart and arrive? Is there a distinct transition between paragraph? ; Is there a conclusion germane to the discussion? (Horváth, 1996 p. 89.). The aim of this paper is to emphasize and analyze the elements, factors and characteristics that contributed either in a favorable, or in an inauspicious way to the evaluation of Paragraph and Essay Organization.
Method:
I based my observations on 6 essays from among the compositions which were written for the Proficiency Test, in 1996. I analyzed them by considering markers’ comments and criteria, and the viewpoints that are regarded as the requirements of essay writing by The McGraw-Hill college handbook (Marius and Weiner, 1996 p. 70-105.)
Result and Discussion:
The first subject to analyze was the form of the paragraphs. A text is made up of paragraphs that break it up into manageable units in order to organize writing and make reading easier (Marius and Weiner 1996 p. 70.). The beginning of the paragraph is marked by its first sentence being indented several spaces from the left margin of the page. The most extreme deficiency that occured in one of the essays was the complete absence of indentation, which resulted in a notably low score given for Paragraph Organization and Essay Organization. There was another essay in which indentation was just partly missing. In this case, new trains of thoughts were introduced in an appropriate way, thus, the lack of starting new Paragraphs may have been attributed only to inattention. Although the Paragraph Organization of this essay got a low score (6), the Essay Organization was evaluated 10 marks.
A paragraph has to be well organized not only formally, but also from the point of view of content. Each paragraph has to have a controlling idea that introduces the section by defining its theme. The controlling idea is most likely to be incorporated in a topic sentence, coming usually at the beginning of a paragraph. All of the essays I have observed possessed some forms of topic identification; moreover, regarding the whole of the essays, all the four major topic identification methods were represented. In one of the essays, the second paragraph started whit a board and general statement summarizing the whole paragraph, and only the second sentence developed the idea more specifically: ‘First of all we have to keep in mind that a parent can also be right and he/she sees our interest, too, only from a different point of view. If we let ourselves carried away by our passion, thinking that we are the only ones who can be right, we are likely to make big mistakes’. (Explain how to argue with a parent, 1996 p.1). One of the paragraphs in another essay started with a limited topic sentence that already defined the controlling idea in itself: ’The way of arguing must be carefully chosen’. (Explain how to argue with a lover, 1996 p.2) The third type of possessing a topic sentence is the one which only announces the topic in the first sentence and does not summarize the rest of the paragraph; the topic sentence comes only after the first sentence: ’Argumentation in itself is a very serious job to undertake. It requires a great deal of knowledge ranging from history to psychology’. (Explain how to argue with a lover, 1996 p.1). There were also paragraphs which did not have a summarizing topic sentence whatsover, but the content could be summed up in one sentence. The writer was explaining and giving advice on how to take the first technical steps when writing an e-mail letter to one’s lover. (Explain how to e-mail to a lover, 1996 ).
Sentences in a strong paragraph are woven into a continuous flow that follows the direction given by the topic sentence. The ultimate condition which determines the cohesiveness of a paragraph is that each of the sentences are closely related to the controlling idea. In the Proficiency essays, it was a most common mistake that within one paragraph several sentences wandered away from the idea, the writer wished to discuss in that paragraph . For example, the first sentence asserted that children have different aims from that of their parents, but the following part of the paragraph rather discussed the idea of respect one should have for their parents; then, the writer returned to the main idea of the essay, that is how to argue with a parent.
The usage of pronouns can efficiently ensure the connection between sentences, and therefore contribute to the cohesiveness of a paragraph. It requires a great deal of concentration and consistency to avoid pronoun shifts. In one of the essays, pronouns without antecedents caused recurring deficiency: ‘One has to be tolerant, a good listener and a smart thinker - at the same time. They will not bite your head off...’. ‘Not only goals you want to achieve, but also the wishes you have are different. You should always try to please them by ... .’ (Explain how to argue with a parent, 1996 p.2,3).
Another source of low evaluative scores was that a paragraph was not elaborated enough. The most striking example was when one or two sentences were meant to make up a paragraph, without developing the topic sentence any further. It was an individual and extreme case, but in other essays also not providing enough information seemed to reduce the scores greatly. One of the best ways of developing a general idea is to demonstrate or explain it through specific examples. It was perfectly implemented in a high-scoring essay about argumentation: ‘Different situations will be presented to give you a picture of some „real” arguments. When trying to find a good holiday resort for the summer vacation, the interests are likely to clash’. ‘...One of the most frequent arguments in the morning when the lovers have to decide who will be the first to get into the bathroom’. (Explain how to argue with a lover, 1996 p 3, 4).
Another efficient method of supporting the main ideas is to provide small details: ’First of all a former knowledge is needed about a friend’s personality, mood, situation, and usual reactions in order to be able to listen, but this former knowledge is given since true friends know each other well’. (Explain how to listen to a friend, 1996 p. 2). Going into details fills the writing with life and lends a smooth flow to the ideas, which helps the readers understand and even enjoy what he or she is reading. Colourful details and examples depict the situation and create a graceful style which is vivacious and amusing, and makes the writing sound natural and easy-flowing. Lack of details triggers off the opposite impact. When a paragraph is composed of only generalization, it can provide only a shallow and superficial discussion, which does nor fulfill the aim of an essay and the reader’s curiosity either, as the main question remains unanswered. The points of the essay get loss, and the reader has the impression that writing that work required just as much effort as its reading: ‘So you use the „who is” identifying programme which takes you at least 30 minutes to find out what you are looking for. This is so not just because the computer is slowly but because you do not know now to use the programme. But finally you succeed in it.’ (Explain how to e-mail a friend, 1996 p.2).
After I have analyzed individual paragraphs, the next stage of the essay to look into is the transition between the paragraphs, and the direction of essay organization . The evaluation of both these aspects was incorporated in the Essay Organization mark, which was, in general, higher than the Paragraph Organization marks. (Horváth, 1996 p. 95.). This general tendency reflected students’ better abilities to link ideas between paragraphs than within paragraphs. An excellent example of transition between two paragraphs was produced by an essay receiving maximum Essay Organization marks. The title of the essay was ‘How to Listen to a Friend’. The writer achieved smooth transition and coherence between the paragraphs by repeating the key words, ‘listen to’ and ’friend’: ‘Most people have at least one true friend who is worth listening to. ...Therefore, listening to a true friend can be called „spiritual listening” since it requires spiritual understanding.
The second type of listening to a friend is almost the opposite of the „spiritual listening.”’ (Explain how to listen to a friend, 1996 p. 1). A good repetition should include some new information along with what is repeated, as it was carried out in the previous example. This example also shows that the last sentence of the first paragraph pointed forward, and the last sentence of the first paragraph provided the link by looking backward to the previous paragraph.
As far as the direction of the essay is concerned, it was already limited to a certain extent when the potential titles were given. These were: Analyze, Discuss, Explain, Present evidence on, and Raise doubts about. All the essays I have studied undertook to examine an idea therefore, they were expected to produce explanations. To be consistent, the writer should bear in mind the aim of the essay throughout the whole work. If an explanation is meant to describe a process, for example, how to e-mail, it needs to break down the process into small steps that follow one after the other. Explanation can be accomplished by classification too. The best example was supplied by the essay gaining the highest score. (Explain how to listen to a friend, 1996). This essay had a thoroughly elaborated and logical construction which was perspicuous and logical. The writer first organized friends into groups and subgroups, and then discussed the listening techniques, matching them to the appropriate subgroup. The third essay that can also serve as a role model explained how to argue with a lover. This essay arranged the various types of arguments in the ascending order of their importance, beginning it with petty, daily arguments, and chose the dispute about getting married to finish with. (Arnaudet and Mary, 1990). All of these techniques lend a solid frame work and clear direction to the essays, but they are only effective if the writer persists to them without any shifts in the course of writing. Essays lacking direction resembled rather to a letter. The arrangement of paragraphs in these essays did not reflect a consistent logic, but only the sequence of the ideas as they occured to the writer.
From the point of view of direction it is mostly significant where the essay departs from and where it arrives at. The opening and closing paragraphs, which frame the essay, differ from the paragraphs in the body of the composition a lot. The function of the first paragraph is complex: it is supposed to announce the general topic of the composition and to give some background information about its method; to set the tone and announce the method of the discussion, and it has to reveal also the reason for the author’s choice; the last sentence has to zoom in on the specific idea of the essay. An imaginative introduction is more likely to raise the reader’s curiosity: ‘The romantic nights of those early centuries are over. You live at the beginning of the 21th century and you must accumulate to modern ways of communication. E-mail gives you a fast, cheap and practical way to send an electric serenade to your beloved.’ (Explain how to e-mail a lover, 1996 p.1). The composition receiving the highest points also had a remarkable introducing paragraph: it had a direct and explicit departure, which implied that the rest of the essay would be also well focused and manageable.
The last paragraph can be a summary of the whole text, or the conclusion or an outlook on the prospect of the theme discussed in the essay. An outstanding close was produced in the composition about arguing with a lover: ‘The best argument is the one which arrives at some kind of equilibrium at the end of it. That is the most beautiful thing in the argument with your lover.’ (Explain how to argue with a lover, 1996 p.4). However, there were several mistakes as well in the conclusions. A student, for example, raised new ideas in the last paragraph which did not conclude from the flow of the text. In another essay the writer made the same mistake in the introduction: she/he wrote about ‘things’ that should not be done, which made the essay negative. (Explain how to e-mail a boss, 1996). The conclusion and the introduction should harmonize with each other, but there was an essay where the assertion of the last paragraph declared just the opposite of what was written in the first paragraph. This made the whole conclusion senseless and redundant.
Conclusion:
This analysis of Proficiency test essays has shown effective and ineffective techniques of paragraph and essay organization. To be able to apply the appropriate techniques easily and avoid the less effective ones following the major guidelines of essay writing can help to succeed. One should not start writing until one has comprehended the exact task. After understanding what to do, one has to identify the subtopics of the general idea. Then, through brainstorming, one needs to produce details to develop the subtopics and to back up the argument. Afterwards the process of writing can be started. Ultimately, the writer should subject the composition to a critical revision to correct the possible mistakes and finalize the essay to submit. Any essay written according to these pieces of advice is likely to meet the demands of paragraph and essay organization.
At Janus Pannonius University, first-year students have to sit for an examination, called Proficiency Test, at the and of the second term. One of the tasks the Test comprises is writing an essay. The examinee has to produce a composition of 400 to 450 words, in 4 or 5 paragraphs. In 1996, there was 140 minutes’ time available to accomplish two more tasks, and students can dispose the time at their own disrection. The essays were corrected and evaluated by tutors who had formerly given writing courses at the university for first-year students In 1996, the assessments was based on the following criteria: Focus, Accuracy, Vocabulary, Paragraph, Organization and Essay Organization, each of them was worth up to 10 marks.
I chose two of these criteria for further analysis: Paragraph and Essay Organization. These two categories, as the other three categories, were examined by the tutors via a set of questions. Concerning Paragraph Organization the questions were: Are paragraph ideas introduced by topic sentence?; Are the topic sentences developed in the paragraphs? For Essay Organization the questions were: Does the essay depart and arrive? Is there a distinct transition between paragraph? ; Is there a conclusion germane to the discussion? (Horváth, 1996 p. 89.). The aim of this paper is to emphasize and analyze the elements, factors and characteristics that contributed either in a favorable, or in an inauspicious way to the evaluation of Paragraph and Essay Organization.
Method:
I based my observations on 6 essays from among the compositions which were written for the Proficiency Test, in 1996. I analyzed them by considering markers’ comments and criteria, and the viewpoints that are regarded as the requirements of essay writing by The McGraw-Hill college handbook (Marius and Weiner, 1996 p. 70-105.)
Result and Discussion:
The first subject to analyze was the form of the paragraphs. A text is made up of paragraphs that break it up into manageable units in order to organize writing and make reading easier (Marius and Weiner 1996 p. 70.). The beginning of the paragraph is marked by its first sentence being indented several spaces from the left margin of the page. The most extreme deficiency that occured in one of the essays was the complete absence of indentation, which resulted in a notably low score given for Paragraph Organization and Essay Organization. There was another essay in which indentation was just partly missing. In this case, new trains of thoughts were introduced in an appropriate way, thus, the lack of starting new Paragraphs may have been attributed only to inattention. Although the Paragraph Organization of this essay got a low score (6), the Essay Organization was evaluated 10 marks.
A paragraph has to be well organized not only formally, but also from the point of view of content. Each paragraph has to have a controlling idea that introduces the section by defining its theme. The controlling idea is most likely to be incorporated in a topic sentence, coming usually at the beginning of a paragraph. All of the essays I have observed possessed some forms of topic identification; moreover, regarding the whole of the essays, all the four major topic identification methods were represented. In one of the essays, the second paragraph started whit a board and general statement summarizing the whole paragraph, and only the second sentence developed the idea more specifically: ‘First of all we have to keep in mind that a parent can also be right and he/she sees our interest, too, only from a different point of view. If we let ourselves carried away by our passion, thinking that we are the only ones who can be right, we are likely to make big mistakes’. (Explain how to argue with a parent, 1996 p.1). One of the paragraphs in another essay started with a limited topic sentence that already defined the controlling idea in itself: ’The way of arguing must be carefully chosen’. (Explain how to argue with a lover, 1996 p.2) The third type of possessing a topic sentence is the one which only announces the topic in the first sentence and does not summarize the rest of the paragraph; the topic sentence comes only after the first sentence: ’Argumentation in itself is a very serious job to undertake. It requires a great deal of knowledge ranging from history to psychology’. (Explain how to argue with a lover, 1996 p.1). There were also paragraphs which did not have a summarizing topic sentence whatsover, but the content could be summed up in one sentence. The writer was explaining and giving advice on how to take the first technical steps when writing an e-mail letter to one’s lover. (Explain how to e-mail to a lover, 1996 ).
Sentences in a strong paragraph are woven into a continuous flow that follows the direction given by the topic sentence. The ultimate condition which determines the cohesiveness of a paragraph is that each of the sentences are closely related to the controlling idea. In the Proficiency essays, it was a most common mistake that within one paragraph several sentences wandered away from the idea, the writer wished to discuss in that paragraph . For example, the first sentence asserted that children have different aims from that of their parents, but the following part of the paragraph rather discussed the idea of respect one should have for their parents; then, the writer returned to the main idea of the essay, that is how to argue with a parent.
The usage of pronouns can efficiently ensure the connection between sentences, and therefore contribute to the cohesiveness of a paragraph. It requires a great deal of concentration and consistency to avoid pronoun shifts. In one of the essays, pronouns without antecedents caused recurring deficiency: ‘One has to be tolerant, a good listener and a smart thinker - at the same time. They will not bite your head off...’. ‘Not only goals you want to achieve, but also the wishes you have are different. You should always try to please them by ... .’ (Explain how to argue with a parent, 1996 p.2,3).
Another source of low evaluative scores was that a paragraph was not elaborated enough. The most striking example was when one or two sentences were meant to make up a paragraph, without developing the topic sentence any further. It was an individual and extreme case, but in other essays also not providing enough information seemed to reduce the scores greatly. One of the best ways of developing a general idea is to demonstrate or explain it through specific examples. It was perfectly implemented in a high-scoring essay about argumentation: ‘Different situations will be presented to give you a picture of some „real” arguments. When trying to find a good holiday resort for the summer vacation, the interests are likely to clash’. ‘...One of the most frequent arguments in the morning when the lovers have to decide who will be the first to get into the bathroom’. (Explain how to argue with a lover, 1996 p 3, 4).
Another efficient method of supporting the main ideas is to provide small details: ’First of all a former knowledge is needed about a friend’s personality, mood, situation, and usual reactions in order to be able to listen, but this former knowledge is given since true friends know each other well’. (Explain how to listen to a friend, 1996 p. 2). Going into details fills the writing with life and lends a smooth flow to the ideas, which helps the readers understand and even enjoy what he or she is reading. Colourful details and examples depict the situation and create a graceful style which is vivacious and amusing, and makes the writing sound natural and easy-flowing. Lack of details triggers off the opposite impact. When a paragraph is composed of only generalization, it can provide only a shallow and superficial discussion, which does nor fulfill the aim of an essay and the reader’s curiosity either, as the main question remains unanswered. The points of the essay get loss, and the reader has the impression that writing that work required just as much effort as its reading: ‘So you use the „who is” identifying programme which takes you at least 30 minutes to find out what you are looking for. This is so not just because the computer is slowly but because you do not know now to use the programme. But finally you succeed in it.’ (Explain how to e-mail a friend, 1996 p.2).
After I have analyzed individual paragraphs, the next stage of the essay to look into is the transition between the paragraphs, and the direction of essay organization . The evaluation of both these aspects was incorporated in the Essay Organization mark, which was, in general, higher than the Paragraph Organization marks. (Horváth, 1996 p. 95.). This general tendency reflected students’ better abilities to link ideas between paragraphs than within paragraphs. An excellent example of transition between two paragraphs was produced by an essay receiving maximum Essay Organization marks. The title of the essay was ‘How to Listen to a Friend’. The writer achieved smooth transition and coherence between the paragraphs by repeating the key words, ‘listen to’ and ’friend’: ‘Most people have at least one true friend who is worth listening to. ...Therefore, listening to a true friend can be called „spiritual listening” since it requires spiritual understanding.
The second type of listening to a friend is almost the opposite of the „spiritual listening.”’ (Explain how to listen to a friend, 1996 p. 1). A good repetition should include some new information along with what is repeated, as it was carried out in the previous example. This example also shows that the last sentence of the first paragraph pointed forward, and the last sentence of the first paragraph provided the link by looking backward to the previous paragraph.
As far as the direction of the essay is concerned, it was already limited to a certain extent when the potential titles were given. These were: Analyze, Discuss, Explain, Present evidence on, and Raise doubts about. All the essays I have studied undertook to examine an idea therefore, they were expected to produce explanations. To be consistent, the writer should bear in mind the aim of the essay throughout the whole work. If an explanation is meant to describe a process, for example, how to e-mail, it needs to break down the process into small steps that follow one after the other. Explanation can be accomplished by classification too. The best example was supplied by the essay gaining the highest score. (Explain how to listen to a friend, 1996). This essay had a thoroughly elaborated and logical construction which was perspicuous and logical. The writer first organized friends into groups and subgroups, and then discussed the listening techniques, matching them to the appropriate subgroup. The third essay that can also serve as a role model explained how to argue with a lover. This essay arranged the various types of arguments in the ascending order of their importance, beginning it with petty, daily arguments, and chose the dispute about getting married to finish with. (Arnaudet and Mary, 1990). All of these techniques lend a solid frame work and clear direction to the essays, but they are only effective if the writer persists to them without any shifts in the course of writing. Essays lacking direction resembled rather to a letter. The arrangement of paragraphs in these essays did not reflect a consistent logic, but only the sequence of the ideas as they occured to the writer.
From the point of view of direction it is mostly significant where the essay departs from and where it arrives at. The opening and closing paragraphs, which frame the essay, differ from the paragraphs in the body of the composition a lot. The function of the first paragraph is complex: it is supposed to announce the general topic of the composition and to give some background information about its method; to set the tone and announce the method of the discussion, and it has to reveal also the reason for the author’s choice; the last sentence has to zoom in on the specific idea of the essay. An imaginative introduction is more likely to raise the reader’s curiosity: ‘The romantic nights of those early centuries are over. You live at the beginning of the 21th century and you must accumulate to modern ways of communication. E-mail gives you a fast, cheap and practical way to send an electric serenade to your beloved.’ (Explain how to e-mail a lover, 1996 p.1). The composition receiving the highest points also had a remarkable introducing paragraph: it had a direct and explicit departure, which implied that the rest of the essay would be also well focused and manageable.
The last paragraph can be a summary of the whole text, or the conclusion or an outlook on the prospect of the theme discussed in the essay. An outstanding close was produced in the composition about arguing with a lover: ‘The best argument is the one which arrives at some kind of equilibrium at the end of it. That is the most beautiful thing in the argument with your lover.’ (Explain how to argue with a lover, 1996 p.4). However, there were several mistakes as well in the conclusions. A student, for example, raised new ideas in the last paragraph which did not conclude from the flow of the text. In another essay the writer made the same mistake in the introduction: she/he wrote about ‘things’ that should not be done, which made the essay negative. (Explain how to e-mail a boss, 1996). The conclusion and the introduction should harmonize with each other, but there was an essay where the assertion of the last paragraph declared just the opposite of what was written in the first paragraph. This made the whole conclusion senseless and redundant.
Conclusion:
This analysis of Proficiency test essays has shown effective and ineffective techniques of paragraph and essay organization. To be able to apply the appropriate techniques easily and avoid the less effective ones following the major guidelines of essay writing can help to succeed. One should not start writing until one has comprehended the exact task. After understanding what to do, one has to identify the subtopics of the general idea. Then, through brainstorming, one needs to produce details to develop the subtopics and to back up the argument. Afterwards the process of writing can be started. Ultimately, the writer should subject the composition to a critical revision to correct the possible mistakes and finalize the essay to submit. Any essay written according to these pieces of advice is likely to meet the demands of paragraph and essay organization.
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