L 213 F

It is a quite difficult question to rate the way that my parents brought me up because in rating them I rate myself. If I say that my parents brought me up perfectly, I say that I am an ideal grown-up who is well-mannered. In this case I would say that I always know what to do and I always do it in good time. Of course it would not be a true way to declare myself. But if I say that my parents brought me up badly, so I would be saying that I am a badly brought up adult then.

So all things considered I can maintain that I am an average well-mannered young person.

We talked a lot about this problem with my parents and we discussed how we could have done things differently. I feel we agree on the basic questions, on essentials.

I owe a lot to my parents. They always listened to me and made me feel like and independent person who may have different tastes and opinions from theirs. They spent a lot of time with me and never misled me. They tried to teach me to be strong and get ahead and make my way in life without asking for any help.

Of course I can see their mistakes because I recognized them, to my cost. For instance I did not receive enough encouragement from them and they never wanted to stimulate me to do better at school. They were always satisfied with me and my results.

They never took me to visit other families and other children because they did not have any friends.

I had never played with other children of the same age before nursery school and that is why in the nursery school I followed the nursery school mistress instead of making friends with the children.

Criticizing my parents is an easy thing to do but I may make the same mistakes when I am a parent. I do not know whether I will make a good one or not because it might turn out than my children would be asked the same questions. It will take years before my children can answer these questions. I am nineteen years old now and I do not want to have a baby during the next five years. Of course I have some ideas of bringing up a baby, but they are always changing.

First I think nursing a baby starts not with the birth but before it, when a women notices that she is going to have a baby. I would like to plan for this moment, not only become pregnant by chance. I would like to have a job to earn enough money to live on in comfortable circumstances and to have the financial means to buy all that the baby needs.

Then I have to take the doctor's advice in dieting, do the recommended exercises, and other things. These conditions (financial needs, diet) are essential before the baby' s birth but it is a substantial part of nursing, because these are conditions of having a mentally and physically healthy child.

The real bringing up starts at the moment of birth. In the early time (zero - three years old) the most important thing is the close contact between the mother and the little baby. It is important to talk to the little baby from the beginning, for example while feeding her. She does not understand our words but she gets used to being listened to and she will soon smile at us. If this contact develops during the first years it will help a lot when the first problems appear.

These first problems appear in nursery school and in primary school. Nursery school is the first real place for the baby to pass out from the familiar surroundings. She is alone and separated from her mother. We have to help the child to prepare for nursery. I will try to do this by a gradual increase in the hours she has to spend in nursery school. First I will leave her there only for four hours because I would like her to be accustomed to being among children. I do not like her to be bored at home and then suffer from the lack of adopting herself to new surroundings. At the same time she will know that I will always arrive at the nursery on time in order to bring her home. So she will not be afraid of being left in the nursery for ever. I will always listen to her when she talks about what happen to her and what she does in the nursery school. I will never tell her to go away because I have not got time for her, because she may not want to tell about it later.

If it could be done I believe it would help us (the parents and the baby) to overcome difficulties in school.

School is the place where most children are or can be hurt. She arrives at a new place with new faces around her and in addition, she has got duties which she did not have before. She has to feel that we will assist, and we are always besides her whatever she does.
I would like to do common programmes with her, for example we will walk an hour every day together. I would enjoy providing every possibility for her to talk about her problems and give her opinion. She will choose her school-bag and the cloth she wears because I would like her to feel that she is important and has got a chance to decide. I will always encourage and praise her for doing anything well because I would like her to become self-confident adult.

I would never tell her a lie. Telling lies to a child poisons everything. Standing in front of the hospital I will never say that taking a blood-test will not cause any pain. I will say that it gives a little pain and she has to stand it because she is old enough.

I reckon that if we deal with a child as an equal from the first time than, she will become a teenager who shares her problems with us. I would enjoy becoming a good parent. I will accept and like her with her faults and I hope it will be enough. Perhaps I will not be worse than the others. I will not make a perfect parent but I will try to be a good one.